It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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