She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I could fuck to npr.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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