Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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