can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize