This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
