Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
