girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
