Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
