Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
