Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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