I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
her vagine was all disorganized.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
