I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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