Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
