brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
