Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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