there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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