man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
