I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
