He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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