I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
