Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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