your room smells of hookers.
And success
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
