I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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