Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
