that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
