She announced her abortion via fbk
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
