i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
