O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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