Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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