Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Michael Bay diarrhea
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
