I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
