Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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