You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
