ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
