My Higher Power is John Stamos
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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