Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
