There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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