I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My breasts were aching with rage.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
