well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
