He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
