Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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