I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
