I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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