we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
