At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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