thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
well you can't waste a boner
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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