And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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