would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
