I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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