So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
