PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
