gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Randomize
